Page 66 - Sarah's Children

revealed truths of God. There were many others and I would have earned frequent
flyer miles for attending elders’ meetings, if there were such a thing. In none of my
efforts, however, did I ever see the leadership of the church change in even the least
way. I became a pariah to different congregations and I found myself leaving more
than one body frustrated and disillusioned.

When I experienced these separations I was very torn. I had a zeal to walk in truth
and it grieved me when churches chose tradition, human reasoning, or their own
ways, over the ways of Yahweh. Yet something was nagging at the back of my mind
telling me that these separations could be handled differently, but I had no clue as
to what I should do differently. I was often reflecting on Yahshua’s high priestly
prayer recorded in John 17 where He prayed that we would be one, even as He and
the Father were one. Yet I could not reconcile my zeal for truth and this oneness.

I continued in this state for about a whole decade, and my frustration grew. When
I was in my early thirties, and married for some time, I once more found myself in
a situation where I was very active in a body, and I was discerning some grave errors
that the church leaders were making. My wife became caught up in it this time, for
a couple she was very close to were being badly treated by the pastor of this church.
They were the music ministers of this body and they lived in a house the church
owned. The pastor had aspirations to start a counseling ministry and he considered
that their home would be the ideal location, precipitating this couple being run off
so their house would be vacated. (Of course, it wasn’t as simple as this, and there
were faults on many sides.)

My wife became so distraught that she no longer wanted to attend this church. My
own words to the elders and pastor were rejected and I too was not entirely desirous
to stay. I asked permission of the elders to leave, in order that my wife and I could
get some emotional distance and better hear from the Father. We were given
permission, yet in my heart I neither had peace about staying or leaving. My wife and
I ended up leaving for a period of six months, and during that time in 1993 the
Father revealed some profound things to me that have changed the course of my life.

During this time of separation from the body a brother gave me a copy of Watchman
Nee’s book “Spiritual Authority.” Little did this brother realize how profound an
impact that book would have on my life. As I read the book the Spirit quickened
passage after passage and I began to see scriptures fall into place like dominoes
falling in a long chain. I knew that something critical that I had been missing was
being revealed to me, and that the Father had waited until I was so conflicted and
hungry for understanding that I would receive what He wanted to show me. Happily
I received His instruction and correction.

Watchman Nee states, “Authority is a tremendous thing in the universe - nothing