Page 104 - Living Epistles

Brighton, June 25, 1865."

"How restfully I turned away from the sands," he said, recalling the
deliverance of that hour. "The conflict ended, all was joy and peace. I felt as
if I could fly up the hill to Mr. Pearse's house. And how I did sleep that night!
My dear wife thought Brighton had done wonders for me, and so it had."

Such a trial is common among those who answer the call to follow the Spirit
wherever He will lead. There is fear to be confronted as one carries the burden
for their own self. How will they eat? How will they live? Where will their
provision come from? Hudson Taylor had been adequate to such trials for the
six years that he was laboring alone in China, but it was an altogether different
burden to be seeking for, and sending, others to a foreign land where they too
must face the same risks, trials and challenges.

I knew this burden when the Lord directed me to quit my employer in 1999,
and to begin a ministry of writing. I had a wife and two young children. I had
no savings, and no church to support me. All I had was the leading of the
Spirit. Like Hudson Taylor, I judged that I was not adequate for the burdens
to be carried, but neither could I deny the Lord and refuse to follow where He
was leading.

When we see ourselves as responsible for the care of others, the weight can be
crushing. We must enter into that place where we understand that Yahweh
will Himself be the surety and care-giver for all those who follow Him. The
burden is not ours alone to carry. The burden and responsibility belongs to
Him. If He can fail, then our hope is in vain.

Yahweh does not promise any of His sons and daughters that they will not
know troubles. He does not say they will not endure times of lack and even
hunger. Indeed, He declares that such things will be common.

Philippians 4:11-13
Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever
circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also
know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned
the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and
suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

The path of self-direction seems a much safer road. When one chooses for