Page 98 - Overcoming Addiction

not cleanse themselves from wickedness they will be disqualified and their
position and reward given to another. Many have already suffered such a
judgment. For this reason, even among the children of God, there will be weeping
and wailing and gnashing of teeth on the day of judgment. Those who could have
had so much will see how foolish they were as they squandered the high calling of
God and wasted the precious opportunities Yahweh afforded them.
I know from experience the great value of coming to understand the fear of
God. After struggling with pornography for many years it was the fear of God that
served as a key to bring me victory. I knew I had a high call upon my life. It had
been prophesied, and the Spirit had made it known to me for many years. I had
begun to enter into some small measure of service to God, but I was still dabbling
with pornography. One day the Spirit spoke to me and said, “If you do not rule
over what your eyes look upon then you will be disqualified from that which I have
planned for you.”
I cannot tell you the anguish that gripped me as I considered what it meant
to forfeit the good things God had ordained for my life. I was gripped with a great
desire to not disqualify myself, and it was due to this fear of God that I was able
from that moment forward to put away pornography and never pick it up again. I
have been tested many times since that date. Even while at the mission there have
been numerous times when I came across some pornographic magazine hidden
away by one of the men in residence. Many times I was in a secluded place with no
observers around when I discovered it. Yet every time I was immediately mindful
of God’s warning, and I would not even open the cover of the magazine, but I
would take it to a trash can and immediately throw it out.
Even the greatest among Yahweh’s servants can benefit from the fear of God
in their life. Consider the words of the apostle Paul after he had been serving as an
apostle for many years.

I Corinthians 9:27
I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached
to others, I myself should become disqualified.

The apostle Paul understood that he could act in such a way as to become
disqualified from the apostolic calling on his life. It was this fear of
disqualification that led him to discipline his body and rule over it.
There have been numerous instances in my life where the fear of God has
been a great boon in motivating me to press on to victory over some stronghold in
my flesh. One such instance was related to a stronghold of covetousness that had
been present through all my adult life. In disobedience to the will of God I went
into debt in order to purchase things that I longed for. Time after time God
corrected me in this, but I would return to the same error.
Since my youth I have loved the word of God, and I have yearned to
understand the mysteries of His word. I have often prayed for spiritual
understanding, and I have found the study of God’s word to be the joy of my life.
One day when I was well into adulthood, and was still walking in covetousness and
disobedience, having incurred more debt, the Spirit spoke to me through the
following Scripture.