Page 31 - No Apologies

provide. One of the reasons so many male bosses have affairs with their secretaries and the
female employees under their authority, is that these employees are in the habit of showing
deference and honor to them. They submit where the man’s wife does not. The submissive
woman appears very attractive to the man. A deep longing in the man’s heart is fulfilled as
her receives honor from a woman. A desire for further intimacy with the submissive woman
at work, coupled with an absence of desire to be intimate with his wife, often leads to
marital unfaithfulness.
When these things occur, most men and women fail to identify the forces that set
things in motion. Wives do not realize they are quenching their husband’s desire to be
intimate with them when they are resisting his leadership. Consider, for a moment, the
spiritual parable in these things. The Jezebel spirit which seeks to rule over men,
emasculates them. A physical eunuch loses desire for sexual intimacy with a woman. So too
does the male whose wife manifests the spirit of Jezebel lose desire to be intimate with her,
both physically and at deeper levels of the soul and spirit. The woman might be successful
in getting her husband to bend to her will, but he will not love her for having done so.
Women, if you want your husbands to desire intimacy with you, then don’t emasculate
them by resisting their headship and authority. A man need not consciously reason, “My
wife does not honor me as a man and the leader of my home, so I am going to hold myself
aloof from her.” Without giving it any conscious thought, or realizing why it is occurring,
the man will find his desire to be intimate with a shrewish wife to have diminished, or to
have fled altogether.
In many marriages, the woman sensing that her husband’s desire is waning will seek
to stimulate his desire through sexual enticement. The wife may begin wearing sexually
alluring clothes, things purchased from Victoria’s Secret, or some other venue that
encourages women to dress themselves as sexual temptresses. Women are often successful
in stirring up sexual desire in their husbands through such means, but this should not be
misconstrued as the man desiring to be intimate with his wife. Many men will have sexual
relations with their wives even as they are envisioning in their minds some other woman
whom they imagine to be submissive and manifesting honor to them.
The Scriptures reveal that the needs of a man differ from those of a woman. Women
need men to love them, but men need women to honor them.

Ephesians 5:33
Each individual among you is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must
see to it that she honors her husband.

There is an observable relationship between a woman who seeks to usurp authority
over men, and the woman dressing provocatively. Jezebel exhibited both of these traits.
They go hand in glove. Man has an inner need to be honored by the woman. He will find a
natural repulsion in his soul to the woman who seeks to rule him. The soul of man
interprets the resistance of the woman to his leadership as dishonor. Consequently, the
woman has to overcome this resistance by enticing the man to desire her through an even
stronger sexual desire. The woman begins to dress, speak, and act in a manner that incites
the man to lust after her. The woman may succeed in stirring up sexual desire in the man,
but she has not caused him to love her. The attraction is shallow, and superficial. The man
is not attracted to the beauty of the woman’s inner life. She has become a physical body to
fulfill his sexual desire. She has not become his soul-mate.