Page 141 - Evidence of Things Unseen

Something within me knew that a day would come when I would also be asked to willingly
give to God that which was most precious to me, and I could not bear the thought. The
question of Isaac in this movie stood before me, “Is there nothing that God cannot require
of us?” I knew the answer was that God could, and would, require that we hold nothing back
from Him. There could be nothing that we loved more than we loved Him.
After viewing this film I spent several days brooding upon the high cost of
discipleship. I wondered whether I actually would be able to give up my children if God
should require it of me. I found much weakness within me, and I knew that in my own
strength such an act of obedience would be impossible. Now the test was set before me, and
I had to confront this matter. I do not know if the things I envisioned happening if I refused
to move out would actually occur. I do not know if I would actually be arrested, or my
children would be taken from me, but for me at that moment the possibility was very real,
and the Spirit allowed it to be a real possibility in my thinking.
I spent hours in my room in agony. I tried to push these thoughts from my mind, but
they would not go away. I considered my wife’s response if I told her God had revealed to
me that we had to stay and face whatever consequences should come. She had wrestled
mightily with the thought of losing her possessions, and had finally accepted this, if it
should prove to be the Father’s will. I knew it would be an even more incredible test to ask
her to pay this further intercessory price.
I have never known such agony as I did during those hours alone in my room. It
became to me my own private Gethsemane as I wrestled with drinking from the cup of
suffering I saw placed before me. I was crying out to God to release me, but I would come
back to stating, “Nevertheless, not my will, but Thy will be done.” The cross before me
seemed unbearably difficult, but after hours of wrestling I finally concluded that I could not
shrink back. I had to follow the course God set before me. With a tremendous heaviness in
my heart I called my family together that evening and I shared with them what I was
sensing from the Spirit. I told them that even if it resulted in our being separated for a brief
time, that I knew God would bring us back together, for God had spoken promises to us as
a family that had not yet been fulfilled, and He could not lie. I was reminded of the
Scripture that spoke of Abraham’s own trial.

Hebrews 11:17-19
By faith Abraham, when he was tested, offered up Isaac; and he who had received the
promises was offering up his only begotten son; it was he to whom it was said, "In
Isaac your descendants shall be called." He considered that God is able to raise men
even from the dead; from which he also received him back as a type.

Abraham knew that, even if he had to give up his son to death, God would restore him
to life, for God had given him promises concerning Isaac, and God could not lie. I too knew
that if I had to give up my children for a time, that God would give them back for He had
testified, “I have great things in store for your family. Marvelous things which only I can get
the credit for.”
When I spoke to my family Tony did not receive my words well, being greatly
distressed, but the children bore it better. I asked my family to pray with me for God’s grace
and mercy in this matter, and for strength to not fail the test. Tony refused to join us, but
Kristin and Josiah sat close by me and we prayed together. I have never been so moved in
my life as I was by the prayer of my son. He too was in distress over the thought of being