Page 34 - The Road from Babylon to Zion

that they chose to curse God and to rail against Him for His unfaithfulness toward
them, when in truth He was seeking to prepare them for greater things? How many
will mourn the fact that they gave in to some impulse of the flesh because they felt
justified due to their harsh circumstances and misfortune?

Self-pity will be the bane of many in that day and they will truly know weeping and
gnashing of teeth. They will see those who overcame similar trials being rewarded
as they sit on thrones prepared for them, while those who gave in to self-pity suffer
great loss as all of their works are tested by fire and consumed.

As I journeyed forth from Babylon there were many things that I suffered. My flesh
grew weary from all of the slings and arrows that were hurled my way. I became tired
of the wilderness places I had to journey through, and I was lonely for fellowship, for
I did not know of another person where I lived whom I could share my trials with
and they would fully understand.

In this state I was often troubled by black moods where I was tempted to pity myself
due to my situation, and on one particular day when I was especially troubled the
Spirit spoke to me. He revealed the peril I was facing and I sensed a desire from the
Spirit that I should overcome this evil as well. Following are words that I wrote
nearly a year ago that express what the Father spoke to me.

I had lain down for a nap yesterday evening with several issues weighing on my
heart, and when I woke up I heard the voice of the Father speaking to me. I had been
in a rather dark mood as I had been pondering all of the difficulties and rejection and
misunderstanding I had endured over the last two years, and which I continue to
face. It has been a difficult place to have been stripped of so much and to have
endured so many trials, especially since it has been in isolation and lonely places that
I have had to walk.

I was in a dark mood as I considered these things, and I lay down to take a nap as
these things were on my mind. When I woke up the Father spoke two words to me:
“self-pity.” Following these words, He began to speak to me of the peril of self-pity.

Self-pity is a trap that some of the greatest of saints have fallen into, and because of
its effects upon them they became disqualified for further service and their mantles
were given to others. Some of these saints endured far more than other men, and
they were accounted faithful, righteous, and holy, yet in the end they succumbed to
the sin of self-pity and they could advance no further with the Father.

As Father spoke to me of these things, I sensed no severe correction from Him, only
a desire that I would gain understanding and overcome this peril. I understood that
if I gave in to self-pity, and began acting out of it, that I would not be able to go any