Page 44 - The Divine Quest

The Divine Quest Page 41

no man may boast before God.

Do you feel that you are described in the passage above? If so, then congratulations
to you! You are a perfect candidate for God to display His mighty power through. By
choosing the foolish and weak and base and despised things of this world, and then
displaying His awesome power through such vessels, He receives all the glory. God
chose me for this particular walk based upon my insufficiency, and my inadequacy,
and my weakness. If I had been a strong and self-confident person, full of faith in my
own abilities, then I would have been led to boast about the great man of faith that
I am.

A few years back I wrote an article detailing some of the magnificent victories God
has wrought on behalf of my family, and in it I described myself in this way:

From my youth I have been beset with feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. I felt
that I was somehow inferior to other people and that I was lacking in certain vital
areas that I really couldn’t define, but which I felt nonetheless. I rarely looked
people in the eyes when I spoke to them because of my insecurity. I was placed in
a public speaking class once when I was in High School and the first day we had
to state our name and say one short fact about ourselves. I was mortified. I turned
red and stammered and sweated and I went immediately afterward and dropped
the class.

I became so frightened about being in the public eye and put on the spot that I
would avoid every situation that held fear for me. I was consumed with a fear of
other people and their opinions of me, thinking that people would see my lack and
failings and I would somehow be rejected. One of the most trying episodes for me
was getting a haircut. While getting a haircut I was a captive and could not flee
until it was over. I was afraid that I would get nervous while getting a haircut and
that it would be noticed. I would begin to sweat profusely and this was impossible
for the barber to not notice since my hair would be glistening with sweat while he
was trying to cut it. Haircuts for me became miserable times as I tried to do
everything to not think about getting nervous, only to fail time after time and to
have my head dripping with sweat while the barber cut my hair. I even had a
barber hand me a towel to dry my hair and wipe my brow as he noticed my
discomfort.

I share these things with you to show you that I have not been a bold or self
confident person. You can then understand that when I tell you how I have seen the
power of God manifested in my life that God has done these things through a weak
and insignificant vessel that He has chosen to display His power through. We are
told that He has chosen the weak and the foolish things of this world to confound