Page 46 - No Apologies

This was Christ’s attitude to His dying day. In the Garden of Gethsemane the soul of
Christ was crushed as His own will and desires had to be put aside in order to embrace the
will of the Father.

Matthew 26:38-39
Then He said to them, "My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death;
remain here and keep watch with Me." And He went a little beyond them, and fell
on His face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass
from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will."

As Christ subjugated His will to that of the Father, man must subject his will to Christ.
The parallel is observed further in that the woman is to subject herself to the man.

I Corinthians 14:34
The women are to keep silent in the churches; for they are not permitted to speak,
but are to subject themselves, just as the Law also says.

To do so, the woman must set aside her will, and her desires, and embrace her
husband’s will as her own. As a man under the headship of Christ, I am to become so
surrendered to Him, having no will of my own, that I can say with Paul, "It is no longer I
who live, but Christ lives in me." I am to be selfless, wholly focused on fulfilling the desires
of another. This attitude is to be carried over to the wife as she relates to her husband.
In my soul, I have many natural desires. Many of these desires appear noble and right.
I would like to have a helpmate who honors me and supports me. I would like to have the
intimate fellowship of both of my children, my parents, my sisters and brother. I would like
to minister among the people of God and be recompensed with that honor that should be
accorded to a faithful servant. My soul has also entertained some more overtly selfish
desires at times. I have desired houses and land, money to spend, and many of the world’s
goods. If I were to write the script for my life, it would be quite different from the script God
has written. My script would have been self-focused. Christ would be included, but He
would be helping me meet my soul’s desires as much (or more) than I was seeking His will
and desires.
For much of my Christian life I was not yielded to Christ’s lordship. I loved Christ. I
was in church every time the doors were opened. I taught Sunday School, preached, cleaned
the sanctuary, mowed the church lawn, and looked for opportunities to serve the Lord. Yet
I had not surrendered myself to go wherever Christ would lead me, and to do whatever
He asked me to do. During this time I would have described myself as a disciple of Christ,
but I was not one in actuality. A disciple must abandon his life to take up that life Christ has
chosen for him.
During these early years of my walk with Christ, into my late thirties, I had all the
things listed above that my soul desired. I had a wife who “partnered” with me even as I was
“partnering” with Christ. I had children at home who loved me. I had fellowship with my
extended family. I received honor in the churches that I attended and labored in. I owned
several different homes at different times. I had the things this world offered that my soul
desired, including a good job, and money to spend on my pleasures.
This all changed in 1999 when Christ spoke to me. Yahshua told me He could take me
no further unless I surrendered to go wherever He asked me to go, and to do whatever He