Page 83 - Evidence of Things Unseen

New Beginnings

espite the agony we knew in Payne City, I told the Lord I was willing to stay there as
Dlong as He desired. I looked to Him to provide the money to pay the rent of $500 a
month, if He desired that we should stay longer than the six weeks we were offered free. The
money never came in, and, about a week before our time there was up, a couple we knew
called and said that they wanted for our family to come stay with them in the country during
the month of November. They had prayed about it and felt the Lord was leading them to set
this offer before us. Our free time at the house in Payne City ended October 31st, so this was
a very timely offer.
It was a tremendous change going from the tension we knew in this crime ridden
neighborhood, to a house in the country. It was just what my wife needed, and she enjoyed
her stay immensely. Kristin and Josiah also greatly enjoyed this time, for this couple had
a son and daughter that were nearly the same ages as our children, and they had a
wonderful time together. This family even had an outside pen for our dogs to stay in, and
in this way God met all of our needs.
Although I also appreciated the change of atmosphere, I did not enjoy our stay to the
extent of the rest of my family. Part of the reason was that this couple thought I was in
disobedience for not working, and they saw their offer as an opportunity for me to find a
job. I had tried to explain to people before that God had told me that I was to trust Him for
our provision, and in every instance I had been unsuccessful in convincing anyone. I could
understand people’s incredulity, for it was hard to explain why God would let me go
through bankruptcy, and lose our house and van, if He had called me to trust Him for our
provision. So few saints have any understanding of God’s discipline in the lives of His
children, that I found it impossible to speak to them of it.
As a result I had to simply bear the reproach of everyone who considered me to be a
deluded reprobate who was too lazy to get out and work to support his family. These
judgments chafed at me very much, and I agonized over God’s will. I was pleased that God
was providing for us, but not that He was doing so in such a way that I was open to
everyone’s criticism. This caused me to doubt at times whether I had heard God aright, for
the weight of every man’s opinion was against me.
When we arrived at this couple’s house, I sensed that the Lord would have me speak
to the husband about some things he was pursuing in his life. We had once fellowshipped
together at the same church, and had been good friends. We had been able to speak freely
about matters together. Yet the first time we started a conversation he told me up front,
“Your being here at our house is about you, and not about me.” In this way, he very
peremptorily cut off any discussion we might have had.
I was so discomfited that I spent my first week there fasting. While the rest of my
family were enjoying themselves immensely, and taking great delight in the wonderful
things our hostess was cooking, I continued to struggle. Daily I would go outside by myself
and pray. I was very depressed in my thoughts, for it was difficult staying in the house of
friends who judged me as a transgressor. I longed to have a single person whom I could
share with who would understand this path God had called me down, and who would offer
me encouragement along the way.
I was also filled with anxiety as I considered what we would do when our month was
up with this couple. They had told the members of their church that I was out of work, and