Page 15 - Evidence of Things Unseen

bowel movement while in utero and this material had gotten into his lungs and he had died.
Because my wife was recovering in the hospital, I attended our son’s funeral without
her. We had named our son Joshua Caleb Herrin. These were days of grief for me, and I had
never wept so bitterly as I did at this time. My expectation of fatherhood, of seeing my son
grow up and hearing his voice, was met with tremendous loss and sorrow.
Over the next six months my sorrow over our loss continued, though the sharp
bitterness of the first pains were lessened. One evening I had come home from work and
had gotten in the shower when the Spirit began speaking to me with a clarity that I had
rarely experienced before. In fact, I only knew of one other time when I had discerned the
voice of God so distinctly. The Spirit said, “I am going to restore your joy. I am going to give
you a daughter and her name will be Kristin Noel.”
I hurried up and finished my shower so that I could go and tell my wife what God had
spoken to me. I told her that Kristin Noel sounded like a Christmas name. A few weeks later
my wife discovered that she was once again pregnant, and the doctor determined that her
due date was right around Christmas. Kristin Noel Herrin was born on December 29th,
1987.
Now this was an amazing thing to me. My wife and I had discussed baby names before,
and we thought that if we had a girl we would name her Hannah Joy. We had never
discussed the names Kristin, or Noel. As I later found out, Kristin means “follower of
Christ,” and Noel means “new life.” Kristin is now sixteen years old (2004), and her entire
life she has fulfilled that which God’s Spirit spoke to me. She has been a source of joy, and
my delight in being her father, and in seeing her own relationship to Christ blossom into
one where she also hears His voice, has been beyond measure.
One thing that this event in my life did was to affirm to me the presence and
watchfulness of God in my life. It is God who opens and shuts the womb. It is God who
orders my steps and who establishes the times and seasons of my life. While I may not
understand why God brings certain trials into our lives, I am confident that He is ever
present and that He will turn even our sorrows into joy. I can be assured that His intentions
toward His children are always good, and not evil, to give us a future and a hope.
As these events unfolded I had many opportunities to live in the reality of the spiritual
realms all around us, or to walk in “unconscious reality.” We were told that we had an open
and shut case against my wife’s doctor, that negligence could be proven and we could be
awarded a substantial amount of money. Yet as I considered this I sensed the Spirit telling
me that it was not the will of God that I pursue this matter in court. The Spirit bore witness
that our own emotional healing would be delayed if we followed this carnal course, for by
keeping the matter of our loss and the doctor’s negligence before us, both my wife and I
would give room for a root of bitterness to take hold in our lives. God would have us to
forgive the doctor, and by releasing him we would ourselves be released into the freedom
of forgiveness and love.
Though the money we might have been awarded was a small temptation to me, I felt
the Spirit bearing witness that we did not need the money, for God would be our provider
if we would trust in Him. Also, I knew that ultimately it was not the doctor that ordered my
steps, but it was God. At the funeral service for our son, one couple came up to me and
shared a verse from Scripture that they said the Spirit had given them in relation to this
situation. The Scripture states, “The firstborn male that opens the womb is holy unto God.”
The Spirit has borne witness with my spirit that God took my son directly from the
womb to His presence, and that he is considered holy unto God. He was spared from ever